PUERTO ESCONDIDO
ALL POSTS TAGGED PUERTO ESCONDIDO
DEAR COREY
PUBLISHED JANUARY 23, 2012 BY MARKW32
Dear Corey,
How is Mexico City? I heard you’ve been having a really good time there. I heard that you got in the metro one morning and you didn’t realize that there was a special section for women because it was really crowded and when you go on the metro you realized you were 4 feet taller than everyone else and they were all giving you dirty looks.
I hope the hostel I recommended for you is nice. I forgot to tell you it’s next to one of the most dangerous neighborhoods in Mexico City but kind of thought you might like it because it gives it that “gritty” “authentic Mexico” kind of feel. There’s nothing more authentic than coming back from a night on the town and thinking you’re just going to have a quiet night at the hostel when a guy pulls a gun out of his pocket and asks you (albeit in really nice Mexican Spanish) to PLEASE give him everything you have immediately so he and his friends can use your pesos to buy caguamas and your cell phone to locate the party they’re going to later that night.
I probably should have done this a long time ago but I’m going to do it now. My TOP FIVE pieces of advice for staying in and navigating Mexico City:
1) Don’t be tall and blond. If you’re tall and blond you need to make sure you’re sitting down at all times and also, if possible, wearing a wig. Maybe also get some sort of mask too just to throw everyone off.
2) Speak perfect Spanish. This way you’ll always know how to get where you’re going and if you get lost people won’t even think you’re American they’ll just think you’re some super tall light skinted mexican and want to be your friend. So instead of not knowing some of the words know ALL the words and if someone is speaking really fast make sure you understand them and chuckle and say softly, “No mames, cabron…” and kind of trail off. This is very key to your survival.
3) Eat tacos al pastor at 6am in the morning. Washed down with coke. This will give you that edgy gritty feel we were talking about earlier.
4) Go to the neighborhood “Tepito.” You’ve been to Coyoacan and you’ve been to La Condesa and Polanco, right? Well you’re missing out. Big time. Tepito is where you need to be. You know how Polanco has Bentley dealerships and Louis Vuitton stores? Well Tepito is almost exactly like that except there are no Louis Vuitton stores and if you’re wearing anything that costs more than three dollars you will probably be stabbed in the stomach. My friend Luis claims you can buy anything you want there. Including pandas.
5) Another really cool part of Mexico City is Puerto Escondido. It’s more of a suburb though actually. To get there just go to the bus terminal by the Taxqueña metro station and bam! 16 hours later you’re in Puerto Escondido. You won’t even feel like you’re still in Mexico City. You’ll feel like you’re at the beach.
I hope this list of tips helps. Again, I’m sorry for not sending it earlier. Share it with your friends. And please bring me a panda bear back from Mexico.
Your friend,
Mark
How is Mexico City? I heard you’ve been having a really good time there. I heard that you got in the metro one morning and you didn’t realize that there was a special section for women because it was really crowded and when you go on the metro you realized you were 4 feet taller than everyone else and they were all giving you dirty looks.
I hope the hostel I recommended for you is nice. I forgot to tell you it’s next to one of the most dangerous neighborhoods in Mexico City but kind of thought you might like it because it gives it that “gritty” “authentic Mexico” kind of feel. There’s nothing more authentic than coming back from a night on the town and thinking you’re just going to have a quiet night at the hostel when a guy pulls a gun out of his pocket and asks you (albeit in really nice Mexican Spanish) to PLEASE give him everything you have immediately so he and his friends can use your pesos to buy caguamas and your cell phone to locate the party they’re going to later that night.
I probably should have done this a long time ago but I’m going to do it now. My TOP FIVE pieces of advice for staying in and navigating Mexico City:
1) Don’t be tall and blond. If you’re tall and blond you need to make sure you’re sitting down at all times and also, if possible, wearing a wig. Maybe also get some sort of mask too just to throw everyone off.
2) Speak perfect Spanish. This way you’ll always know how to get where you’re going and if you get lost people won’t even think you’re American they’ll just think you’re some super tall light skinted mexican and want to be your friend. So instead of not knowing some of the words know ALL the words and if someone is speaking really fast make sure you understand them and chuckle and say softly, “No mames, cabron…” and kind of trail off. This is very key to your survival.
3) Eat tacos al pastor at 6am in the morning. Washed down with coke. This will give you that edgy gritty feel we were talking about earlier.
4) Go to the neighborhood “Tepito.” You’ve been to Coyoacan and you’ve been to La Condesa and Polanco, right? Well you’re missing out. Big time. Tepito is where you need to be. You know how Polanco has Bentley dealerships and Louis Vuitton stores? Well Tepito is almost exactly like that except there are no Louis Vuitton stores and if you’re wearing anything that costs more than three dollars you will probably be stabbed in the stomach. My friend Luis claims you can buy anything you want there. Including pandas.
5) Another really cool part of Mexico City is Puerto Escondido. It’s more of a suburb though actually. To get there just go to the bus terminal by the Taxqueña metro station and bam! 16 hours later you’re in Puerto Escondido. You won’t even feel like you’re still in Mexico City. You’ll feel like you’re at the beach.
I hope this list of tips helps. Again, I’m sorry for not sending it earlier. Share it with your friends. And please bring me a panda bear back from Mexico.
Your friend,
Mark
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thank you. Comments are welcome.
ivan